How to write personalised vows with feeling


You have found your dream venue. You have chosen your flowers and dress. Now for the real reason behind your wedding day, the sharing and celebrating of why you are together.

The content of your ceremony is an opportunity for your loved ones to connect more deeply with you and brings them into your celebration. Your vows are perhaps the essence of this.

Writing your own vows doesn't need to be daunting, it is more a process of clarifying exactly what it is you wish to say.

1) Firstly THIS IS YOUR WEDDING, THESE ARE YOUR VOWS so stop looking up others wedding vows in search for the right answer. You want it to be sincere, and you want them to reflect you and your relationship and not what you THINK wedding vows should sound like.

2) What you are relaxed make some notes of any thoughts or feelings come to you. This might be driving home from work or washing the dishes, you don't want writing your vows to feel like pressure or something that has to be done or they may not sound genuine.

3) Focus on why you are marrying using any of these questions as prompts;
  • What are you promising your spouse in marrying them?
  • What do you wish to give them now or in the future?
  • What do you love about them?
  • How do you know you love them?
  • What does commitment mean to you?
  • Why are you choosing to formalise your relationship in marriage?
  • Why are you grateful to have them in your life?

Once you have the key sentiments down then it will be much easier to recognise what is important to include. It may be only one line.

4) You may want to discuss with your celebrant the format they will take, how do want to say them? Do you want to read them to each other as a paragraph or two? Do you want to have identical vows and repeat them aloud? Do you want them posed as questions that warrant a response, "yes" or "I do"?

Adjusting HOW you say your vows will be much easier when you are not also figuring out what you mean.

5) RELAX. If you are sincere they will sound great and everyone will FEEL your words. You are really only talking to this one person who you know loves you, right? You might even decide that you don't want to include vows and just share what you want to say with your lover in a letter before or after the ceremony. At the very least you will be even more in tune with what your wedding day means to you.

Enjoy feeling and articulating your love and enjoy your day!